A special child

A "special child" is a term the Rebbe gave to children with special needs in the areas of intellect, soul, or body.

Along with this name, the Rebbe introduced a renewed and revolutionary approach in treating children in these situations, not to place them under a limiting, all-encompassing label but to see the potential hidden in each one.

The name and method influenced the treatment of these children and people throughout the Jewish people and the entire world.

Main Principles of the Method[edit | edit source]

In a response letter to Dr. Robert Wilkes from a hospital in Coney Island in 5739 (1979), the Rebbe directed six fundamental points in treating this phenomenon:

Social workers, teachers, and anyone working with children who have developmental delays should approach their work with the assumption that the delay is not a permanent condition, but only a temporary disability, and that there is a chance for significant improvements as time passes. It's important not to focus only on experts' statements and forecasts, but to believe in possible progress and take an optimistic approach. This approach is essential for successful treatment, especially in light of scientific advancement and human knowledge, which can lead to significant improvements in this field as well.
This approach is important not only for social workers and teachers but also for the children themselves. Children should be encouraged to believe that their difficulty is temporary, and that through joint effort with educators, their condition can improve. They need to feel confident that they are not "hopeless cases" but can progress and improve with support and guidance.
However, one should avoid exaggerating expectations or making excessive promises. Children should be given realistic encouragement, as false hopes can lead to disappointment and destroy trust. A balance must be found between encouragement and maintaining realistic expectations, so that positive motivation can be maintained over time.
As part of the optimistic approach, one should think of ways to integrate children in roles of certain leadership, such as team leaders or group leaders, without arousing jealousy among other children. This can be done through a selection process that considers seniority, achievements, or exemplary behavior, while being careful to prevent negative competitiveness.
Regarding initiatives for "group homes" for children with developmental delays, it should be understood that they have both advantages and disadvantages. It's important to balance group living with the need for family belonging. Just as students spend part of their time in a group environment (such as school or boarding school) and part of their time at home, children with developmental delays also need the personal support of their family alongside their shared time with the group. An individual assessment should be made for each child to provide the most suitable environment.
The specific Jewish needs of the children must be taken into account, especially when dealing with Jewish children with developmental delays. Often, insufficient attention is given to these needs, and they should be an integral part of the therapeutic and educational process, with the aim of preserving religious values and providing them with the necessary personal and value-based support.

Implementation of the Method[edit | edit source]

One of the famous doctors who pioneered a method based on the Rebbe's words is Professor Reuven Feuerstein, who said that psychology should not be viewed as an "exact science" that can measure psychological traits "as one measures the length of a table," and therefore he maintains, for example, that psychometric exams and similar tests have no meaning.

"A person is not 'a unit with fixed, unchangeable data' that can be measured," says Feuerstein, "but a unit capable of change for better or worse alike." The only essential unchanging characteristic in a person - and particularly in a Jewish person - is that hidden core within them, which is literally a part of God above.

"These characteristics of a person - being capable of change and carrying a seed of divinity - give the person great freedom of choice and responsibility: they require him to stand guard lest he change for the worse, and equally to hope that he will change for the better."

The essence of this psychological theory, which sees change as an inseparable part of life itself, carries hope for all people in general, but it has a real message for those who suffer from learning and adaptation difficulties. In one sentence, Feuerstein's method completely rejects the approach that there are "terminal deficiencies" in the life of the soul.

In the words printed on the cover of the last volume of his latest book, Feuerstein presents his entire concept in one sentence: "Don't accept me as I am - change me." In this book, he brings the stories of many people whose rehabilitation was made possible thanks to his theory - one of them is a figure in whose healing and rehabilitation the Rebbe was involved at every stage.

The Rebbe's Guidance for Children with Special Needs[edit | edit source]

While it is common in the world for children with disabilities to exempt themselves from Torah and mitzvos, the Rebbe instructs that, on the contrary, observing Torah and mitzvos can help these children therapeutically in identifying with their identity. Therefore, not only should they not be prevented from observing Torah and mitzvos, but rather, efforts should be made to help them fulfill mitzvos as much as possible.

Closer to Hashem[edit | edit source]

Chazan Reb Yosef Malovany has a special child named Zeevi, who was born with severe autism.

During the period when he lived in London, he placed him in a local Jewish institution, and when he moved to New York, the Rebbe's recommendation was that it would be better not to disrupt him by moving him to another unfamiliar institution overseas. Over time, it became apparent that the school in London for children with special needs was better than other institutions they had seen, so he decided to leave him there, in accordance with the Rebbe's recommendation.

In the month of Kislev 5750, he went together with his wife to the distribution of dollars for tzedakah and requested a special blessing for his son, Zeevi. In response, the Rebbe gave them an answer that changed their worldview.

"Autistic people," the Rebbe explained, "does not mean they have no connection to anyone; they have no connection with people, but with Hashem they have a connection like others, and even more so. Since they are not busy with people, they are more available to engage in a connection with Hashem."

This changed their entire thinking about their child, and Reb Yosef discovered that the child could make brachos and also greatly valued his tzitzis, and he reported this to the Rebbe.

"Does he have a tzedakah box in his room?" asked the Rebbe. When he replied negatively, the Rebbe instructed that they should install a box in his room. The Rebbe noted that the management of the institution would surely not object to this, as tzedakah is something everyone appreciates. "It will be for his benefit," added the Rebbe. "When people come to visit him, he will be able to remind them that they should donate to tzedakah."

Reb Yosef followed the Rebbe's advice, and after two years, he came to the Rebbe and told him about the positive impact his advice had on their son. Since receiving the tzedakah box and the Rebbe's blessing, Zeevi began to respond better. He began to be more active and to show more understanding of what was said to him.

Upon hearing this news, the Rebbe gave us another dollar, saying, "Send this dollar to the management of his institution, and ask them to put it in the tzedakah box in his room."

Insistence on Kashrus and Tefillin[edit | edit source]

For a family from Crown Heights, the Rebbe instructed that their special child should be careful to eat only kosher food and that they should help him put on tefillin every weekday.

Yad L'Yeled HaMeyuchad (A Hand for the Special Child)[edit | edit source]

In 5764, Reb Shlomo Maidanchik established an organization in Eretz Hakodesh called "Yad L'Yeled HaMeyuchad" (A Hand for the Special Child), and placed his grandson, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Bliniztky, at its head.

The guiding principle of 'Yad L'Yeled HaMeyuchad' is that with joint efforts and by providing appropriate opportunities, children with special needs will be able to realize their individual potential and integrate in a healthy way into society.

Today, the organization operates many platforms for these children, both in the educational-cognitive arena, in the rehabilitative-therapeutic arena, and in long-term thinking by providing practical options for integrating young people into employment.

The organization arranges events and activities for special children and their families. The organization has connections with diverse audiences throughout the country, and the activities around special children bring people with different and distant opinions and behaviors together for the sake of these children.

Every day, board members, staff, and volunteers are in the field to provide each special child with everything needed for their success, and their family with the support to ensure it.

External Links[edit | edit source]

The Rebbe's correspondence in English with Dr. Robert Wilkes, on how to treat special children
The Rebbe's advice: The approach to special children
"A Special Gift": The Rebbe's view of special children
Professor Reuven Feuerstein on the Rebbe's method for special children
Chazan Yosef Malovany "The Rebbe's amazing insight regarding autistic children"
Dollar distribution: Chazan Yosef Malovany tells about his special son ● Watch the video
Yaakov Rand, known for his work with 'special children' passes by during dollar distribution
Story about a coin the Rebbe gave to a special child
Article in Beis Moshiach in English about families coping with special children